And an MRI to Boot

Dear Friends, Family and Fellow Writers;

I am home from my MRI, which my last orthopedic doctors didn't seem to find necessary and I hope never to go through that again. OMG that is torture, especially holding a weak joint in an uncomfortable position for forty minutes without moving. I am now over qualified to play a dead body on TV.  Let us all hope, pray and meditate that you, my beloveds, do not have to ever go through the same thing.

 

It occurs to me that many of you know this story, my story, only in part because it's been so chopped up along the way. I would like to put it before you now, for my writer friends in case you need something to draw from in your work and for my friends and family so you have a first hand account of what's going on.

 

This story begins late in second trimester when I was pregnant with my son and youngest child. I was asked by a friend of ours "So what's with the limp?" (Perhaps with a not so heart felt apology for being nosy, but I didn't mind.) I gave a bumbling answer and said it didn't hurt at all on that side. And on I went through my pregnancy until after the baby was born. I was overweight when I conceived him, but through careful work and management of my gestational diabetes I was able to gain a minimum amount of weight and still have a healthy baby. My cup that day "runneth over" as the Bible verse says. But due to the gestational diabetes, I did not want to get pregnant again and I had a tubal ligation the next day.

 

This surgery slowed down my ability to work out at first, but soon, after having my post baby check up, I came out of it twenty pounds lighter than went in. I still had to be cleared from the diabetes, but I was fine to do heavier exercises. Being just thirty two at time, I applied myself to walking or running a mile or two every day five days a week. But even though my cardio improved, I now started having pain in my hip. I went to see my regular physician and was given Vicodin and Lortab on separate occasions to deal with the pain and to help me sleep. This was largely a failure as using the drugs for more than two days (and to be clear I would take one, at night, to sleep not during the day and I never drove while taking them) I felt strange. I felt at one point a tingling on my arms and legs as if ants were marching on me and taking my skin away with them. After that, I crossed narcotics off my list of acceptable ways to manage the pain.

 

Meanwhile my doctor ordered an X-ray of my hip since I had fallen off my bike while mountain biking and fell and hit that hip, I was afraid I'd had an undiagnosed fracture that had healed improperly and would need surgery to correct. It was then that my deformity was discovered. It explained a lot of things and was kind of a relief.

 

I was referred for the first time to an orthopedic surgeon, who ordered a more complete round of X-Rays. He and I looked at the results just a few minutes later where explained I did not have a hip joint at all on the right side. He pulled up the X-Ray and I have to say that was the understatement of the year. He said he had absolutely no doubts that a hip replacement would get rid of my pain, but he went on to say that I was so young that holding off on the surgery would give me a better long term prognosis. He wanted to wait until after I was forty. But I am hoping to have it done early next year, at age 39. He put me on a course after course of steroid to get the inflammation out of my hip. So all of the lovely weight I had lost, about 35 pounds, came back on with a vengeance. But after about year of this treatment, my hip felt better and I was able to exercise again. It lasted two years. And for the last two plus years, I've been in a downward spiral.

 

I've put on weight, I've been on the verge of depression over and over again. I cannot be the kind of mother I want to be, I am terrified of stairs. So this spring I went to my family practitioner (a nice lady) and told her I needed some physical therapy at the very least for my hip. I went, I worked diligently, we got approval for more session, I kept going, but at the end of six weeks, I was still in a significant amount of pain despite achieving all but one of my personal goals. So I've requested to be sent into an orthopedic surgeon and today, step one, documentation for the referral, X-Ray and MRI.

 

Now I have to tell you about the MRI. I was stuck in there for close to forty minutes as they took scan after scan. My body, some seven hours later, still tingles. The X-Ray took a lot less time. I finally walked out of there  and explained the whole process of lying still and the loud wunga wunga wunga of the machine while I waited for the images to be made. I told him how I rode on the table and had my feet turn in and strapped together and how they put a nice big, fat belt around me to keep me from falling off the table. When I got done he said. "OMG Mommy! That must have been really, really, really BORING!"

 

It comes down to this. I can't exercise without being in a significant amount pain. I'm talking the pain roughly equal to that I felt during natural childbirth. Walking is now so painful and awkward that my dog is disappointed in me. My DOG people...unconditional love my ass.  And perhaps most importantly, I can't be the kind of mother I want to be. So yes, I really want to have my hip done, hopefully early next year.

 

Your kindness and warm wishes have been felt even though most of you are so far away. I cannot express my gratitude to you all. So writer's take this, light me up with questions about the process, whatever and turn it into art and friends keep me cheerful. This time next year, you won't recognize me.

 

Love,

 

Melanie