An Epic Splat

I am going to fail, epically. If you don't know me well, you might not know I'm a huge fan of epic failure. I believe in just going all out and pushing myself hard. Sometimes, most of the time, I make it. But not this month.

 

This month I'm not going to complete my editing goal. And I'm just fine with that. There was a time, oh just six weeks ago, when this kind of failure would have been devastating. And editing is my real weakness. I don't mean my ability to tighten prose or shape a story, that I know I can do. It's my doubt monster I can't control. And if I were truly struggling with my monster I would be a puddle of tears for you guys here on the blog. You all know I've done it before.

 

But this was plain ol' life getting in the way. Now, I don't broadcast my problems over the internet. My internal struggles with my writing, sure. Every writer has those and sometimes those posts are good so we don't fee so alone. But I have other, more dramatic things, that are going on my life. A few of which might be truly life changing. Those, a nasty computer virus, and my decision to change projects very late in the game have all led to the failure I will be experiencing in a few days. But I am fine.

 

Because every day I work, I do more than the average I set myself for the beginning of the month. Because every day I work I can feel my craft getting better. Because every day I work, I'm gaining on my goals. Because every day I work I am satisfied with who I am. This is a failure. And failures are good in moderation. I learn more from failure than I do from success. And what I've learned is something I hadn't hoped to learn. I can forgive myself for not living up to my own standards.

I'm not making excuses. I'm not saying I'm revising my standards. I'm saying I'm human and I'm okay. So HUGS to all of you who set a goal and will fall flat. It hurts, but you are not broken. It hurts, but you are still here. It hurts, but you are worth while. It hurts, but your work is important. It hurts and it's okay to hurt. LEARN, grow, be something better. It hurts, but I still love you. I always will. Even if it means I have to sit on your side of the court room at your trial. Hey, I may not approve of your life choices, but I will be there with you every step of the way. Because you're human and I am too.

Love,

Melanie