Withdrawl

So as many of you, my dear writer friends, may know I have been without a computer for a couple of weeks. That was bad enough, but now I need new software to get back into my work-in-progress. I have been going hard-core on not writing anything but the rewrite of the first novel in my epic, high fantasy series and being away from writing nearly three weeks now feels like death. I'm battling some sort of not really depression, depression. I wish some psychologist could help me. My feelings are hard to categorize, because on the one hand I feel so alone and bereft, as if one of my closest friends has died and on the other I'm buzzing pretty hard on some new idea. My world seems to be spinning, I can't pay attention to every day things, and the anxiety that I might have screwed up the rewrite is really beginning to mount.

I've taken to the Twitter (as you must call things when one is feeling totally and completely crazy) to help/but in with my other writer friends, I might be needing new friends here in a few days. It helps to talk plot and characterization with them. I'm watching movies on DVD, (as a side note DVD really, when did I get to be old?) and parsing every second of the choices the actors made, the selection by the director, the feel and tone of the movie. I could probably write a thesis on why movies go awry at this point.

I've taken up reading other indie authors, just the free stuff, I'm too cheap to buy, but many of these guys are good, really good. I MEAN that. But it is so hard to read anyone, even my favorite authors, right now for all of the ideas that are crammed inside my head.

I am promised my software by the end of this next week, at which point I will probably lock myself in my room and write for three or four days straight. Until then, I guess I no longer have to worry about whether or not I'm meant to be a writer, it clearly defines who I am.